The EntreMD Podcast

Before You Leave Your Kids Money, Give Them This First

• Dr. Una • Episode 491

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We all want to leave our children an inheritance, but the truth is—money alone isn’t enough. Before you pass on wealth, there’s something far more valuable you need to give them: the mindset, skills, and wisdom to steward it well. In this episode, we’ll talk about what you need to give them first, why it matters more than money, and how to intentionally prepare your kids for lasting impact and true legacy.

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Speaker 1:

You already went through the experience. You already went through the challenge. You already overcame that. Overcame it Like share the story, share the story, share those stories with your kids. You would think they don't matter. They do matter. Someday your kid is gonna be somewhere and gonna have a high stake deal or a high stake decision they need to make. And they're gonna say I remember when mommy told me about X, y, z or daddy told me about XYZ, and in that moment I knew what to do.

Speaker 2:

Hi docs, Welcome to the EntreMD podcast, where it's all about helping amazing physicians just like you embrace entrepreneurship so you can have the freedom to live life and practice medicine on your terms. I'm your host, Dr Imna.

Speaker 1:

I think that you know, giving our kids for those of us who are parents, our kids wealth is one of the most powerful things that we can do. Right, we set them up to succeed at a different level. We set them up where maybe there are certain challenges we had that they didn't have to have, you know. Hopefully that becomes a stepping stone and they can just take that to a whole new level. But I also believe that leaving your kids well can be one of the most damaging things you do to them At least let me speak for myself one of the damaging things I could do for my kids if I don't give them something else. I'm a firm believer that you want to give your kids wealth and you want to give them the how-to, the thing you did that put you in a position to create the wealth in the first place. Right, so we create the wealth and we create the engine. We install the wealth creation engine in them so they can continue to reproduce the wealth. Otherwise, I mean, it's not uncommon, right For someone to inherit a whole lot and blow it. It's not uncommon for people to inherit wealth and in two generations, three generations, it's completely gone right and us thinking, oh, I'm an exception to the rule. Well, that's a little bit of pride. We have to ask ourselves, well, what do I need to do? So my family is not a statistic, okay. So for me, I have developed these five things like by all means give them money, by all means give them wealth. But even more important for me is these five things that I give them, and I see them as assets, I see them as quote, unquote wealth. It's not the actual dollars, but it's the thing that produces wealth, right? Okay, so what do I want to give them? What do I want to leave with them? Okay, so the first thing I'm leaving them is my victory stories. Right, is my victory stories? And you're like wait what? Yeah, it's my victory stories Because you see, the experience I had as a kid, or experience I had growing up, or experience I had as I started building businesses and all of that stuff, my kids are completely oblivious to that. Right, if I don't share those, they'd be completely oblivious and they would just think, like this is the way life is, as opposed to no life can be very different. And this is what you do to take it to the next level, right, and so if I shield them from those stories, I don't empower them with the wisdom from my experience, right? So this is the wisdom I'm transferring with them and inside every story is the mindset, is the method, is the strategies, all of those things that they can learn from, they can glean from and they can use it in their world. Now, I'm not expecting them to have the experiences that I had. The chances are they're not, but they can take it and apply it with the level they find themselves at and then take it to the next level, right. And so you know some of them.

Speaker 1:

It's not all finances, right. Some of that is you know how I got into medical school, which was a very interesting story we'll probably share on a different day. Talking about moving from Nigeria, like. So I was born in California but I moved back to Nigeria when I was six and I did come back to after medical school, right. So coming back through medical school after medical school, all the challenges around there and what I did to overcome those challenges and then get into residency and then complete my residency.

Speaker 1:

I'm launching my first business, which is my private practice, and the challenges I had, right, because they'll see me from a place of strength, like mommy's, invincible and stuff like that. But the challenges I had, the fears I used to have, how I overcame them, how I took that practice, how we hit our first hundred thousand, how we hit our first million, how we became team led, how I exited and all of those things, how I decided you know, like I'm only going to give you know medicine after being attending 10 years and after that I'm retiring, and how we worked through the process and, over a nine-year period, was able to pull that off right, how we made it to the Inc 5000, like all of those things. Like sometimes we just think they're stories. No, these are so powerful, like I haven't made the decision yet, but I suspect I'm going to gather my stories, I'm going to have my husband gather his stories and we're literally going to create these legacy podcasts that they can listen to and my grandkids can listen to all of those things, because there's so much wisdom in that, there's so much they can learn from that, there's so much they can identify with and do their own version and all of those kind of things. So you already went through the experience, you already went through the challenge, you already overcame it.

Speaker 1:

Share the story. Share those stories with your kids. You will think they don't matter. They do matter. Someday your kid is going to be somewhere and going to have a high stake deal or a high stake decision they need to make. And they're going to say I remember when mommy told me about X Y Z or daddy told me about X Y Z, and in that moment I knew what to do. Don't deprive them of your victory stories. Right, you can literally take inventory, like these are my victory stories, right, you may have five, seven, 12, 24. And you just tell them one at a time and tell them a lot. Or you can have a hot seat and have them ask you questions and they'll pull those stories out.

Speaker 1:

But your stories are a gift. They're as valuable as dollars, they're as valuable as an investment fund. They're so valuable, okay, so that's number one. Number one thing I'm giving them. The second thing I'm giving them is my mindset.

Speaker 1:

Right Now, when I think about my mind, okay, I got into entrepreneurship 15 years ago and before that I was into personal development for a few years. I actually have to go think about how many years that was. And so I have done a lot of work. I've done a lot of work on my mind. I have spent a lot of money on my mind, I've read an unbelievable number of books, I've listened to a crazy number of podcasts, I've been in a number of programs and all of these things, and because of that, I've acquired superior ways of thinking about money, superior ways about thinking about business, superior ways about thinking about building relationships and the value of social capital, superior ways of thinking about so many things, and I could transfer them dollars and not transfer them. That way of thinking, which is just, it makes no sense, because the ROI on the way of thinking is so much higher than the ROI on the dollars, right? And so you want to start thinking about these things like what is my way? What are these things that I've learned that maybe are even against cultural norms?

Speaker 1:

Right, there is this thing about it being, for instance, as physicians, it's normal to have a loss of autonomy. It's normal to be burned out. It's normal to be working way into the night. It's normal to. You know, I don't subscribe to any of that, right, and I found another way out. Right, there are many entrepreneurs who are like, oh, my business is struggling and all of that stuff, but they won't sell and they cannot recognize that. The problem is they won't sell, they won't build a referral base, they won't ask people to work for them and stuff like that. There's so many people who are like where would I find the time to do all of these things?

Speaker 1:

I've learned the power of delegation, the power of spending 80% of my time doing 20% activities, the power of automated, the power of building systems so that the important things are happening by quote, unquote, default. I feel like it's my responsibility. I have such a great asset to give them, which is my way of thinking. Now they're going to take it and take it to a whole new level, and someone may be saying, oh, isn't that brainwashing? Everybody's being brainwashed. Our minds, everybody, our minds are impressionable, okay, and we are going to reflect the people we spend the most time with period end of story. And so, because everybody's being brainwashed, you want to put the best information in front of them and that's what I'm doing. So yesterday it was so cool.

Speaker 1:

Yesterday I had a meeting, and it was the very first one. We called it the Commonwealth, and I had my kids and I had about eight of their cousins or so, or six of their cousins or so, and I started this series teaching them about the power of decisions, how to make proper decisions, how to recognize what decisions have what consequences. And I told them. I said most adults have no idea what we're going to talk about. I mean, they were from the age of three to 15, right, so this was super cool. And they don't even know what we're going to talk about. But you're going to learn it and so you're going to be so smart. And also and they loved it Like one of them, she's nine, she was like she's asking her mom. She's like can Auntie Nneka do this more than once a week? Are we only going to do this once a week? But it was so good, but what was I doing?

Speaker 1:

I was transferring. It's intentional. I was transferring a decision tree Because for me, I'm like I don't just make decisions. Because I make decisions, there's an algorithm that runs in my mind and you have an algorithm too, right, you may just not recognize it, but we all have these algorithms that are running. And I was like what if I could take that algorithm, deconstruct it and then teach it to them? What, right? Okay, so that's just an example, but you know, is just that thing of transferring superior ways of thinking that you've acquired to them, the superior way of thinking that makes the life you live now possible, the superior way of thinking that makes the revenue you've been able to create possible. Now transfer it to them. You might say my kids are young. Oh my goodness, you have no idea what these people can, what they can learn. Just start, you'll learn how to communicate it. Right. I did catch stuff, okay.

Speaker 1:

Number three, third thing I'm transferring is skills like actual skills. Okay, so back in the day, if your father was a carpenter, you became a carpenter. If your father was a farmer, you became a farmer. And so there are these things of family skills. Right Now it's a little different. You come and then you find yourself and then you go to college, somewhere, whatever, whatever. And for me I'm like uh-uh, I'm going to find the top, most important skills that have made me who I am, and you're going to learn those. Now you can choose to do whatever you want. Afterwards you can add new skills. You can do whatever, but you're going to learn those. Now you can choose to do whatever you want. Afterwards you can add new skills, you can do whatever, but you're going to have the family skills. No, I didn't say the family business, but you're going to have the skills that have made us who we are. You're going to have them.

Speaker 1:

And so, for instance, you will see that I've done this experiment publicly with my daughter, with Cheta. She's 17. Okay, she's 17. And I thought about it. I said, okay, if I could transfer business skills to her, what do I want to transfer to her? I want to transfer to her the skill of speaking. I want to transfer to her the skill of selling. I want to transfer to her the skill of networking, building quality networks. I said, if I give her these three, it doesn't matter where she finds herself. She will use these three to rise to the top. Okay, and so for me, what I did is I said, okay, I'm going to have her go live once a week on Facebook. Initially she went live in the Facebook group, in the Entremdi Facebook group, and then, after that, she started going live on my private page, on the Entremdi YouTube channel, my private Facebook page. You can actually go there and watch some of her videos, and if you do shout her out, she's a 17-year-old, it'll make her happy, and I have her practice speaking.

Speaker 1:

And so then I taught her the speaking framework and then she would speak and come back. We'd audit it, we'd improve, she'd go back again. We audit, improve, go back again. And all of that. Why am I doing that? I want her to be great at speaking. Like, have that skill. Now, that is a skill that literally creates millions of dollars. Like, why will I not give her that skill? That is almost more valuable than any inheritance I'm going to leave her. If you think of wealth in that way, right, okay.

Speaker 1:

And then this skill of speaking. Most businesses that are under a million in revenue are under a million in revenue because somebody doesn't want to sell. That's it. Not willing to sell, not willing to sell in the right volume, not willing to sell this in the right way, and all of those things. Now, please don't misunderstand me. It's not a judgment thing. Yes, if you haven't hit a million, you're working on it, all that stuff, okay. But everybody can agree that, oh, my goodness, most people don't want to sell. And if somebody can learn how to sell and become really good at it before they find out that people don't like it, that's a good thing. Right, and it's something I ran away from. I was just like I'm flat out not doing that, I'm a professional Professionals, don't do that. Like I'm flat out not doing that, I'm a professional Professionals, don't do that, right. And so I said, okay, you're in charge of the merch division.

Speaker 1:

I didn't put her in charge of the merch division because I wanted her to be in charge of the merch division. I put her in charge of the merch division because I wanted her to know how to sell. I want her to practice selling every week so she can do a strong call to action every single week. Right, and I'm going to keep upping the things that she will sell. But she's going to be a master at selling.

Speaker 1:

And then, with networking, I set it up where she's interviewing the doctors in the Entremet Business School. Those are the people she's interviewing when she goes live. So she has this opportunity to build her network. Some of the photography, she runs the mic, she does some of the announcements and all of those things, and she has these opportunities to build relationships with the doctors in the on-training business school. That's her doing her networking. I do the same thing at church, I do the same thing when I take her from my coaching programs and all of that. I do that with even the babies. I get them to where they're building networks with people that I could not even have had access to 10 years ago.

Speaker 1:

Do you see what I'm saying? So I'm transferring skill. These are family skills and you're going to learn it. So this is why, as an entrepreneur please hear me when I say this every skill you need to learn to make your business better, embrace it. The evolution you need to experience to make your business better. Embrace it. Why? Because now you have something that you can then give to your kids. You can pass it on. You can pass it on. Your evolution is a gift to your family. Me, learning to speak, learning to sell, learning to lead people, learning to build seven figure businesses, learning to network, learning to you know, having an appreciation for growth, having appreciation for mentorship and coaching, and all of that has put me in a position where I can take those things and transfer them to my kids and then they start off a whole new level because they had that Okay.

Speaker 1:

The other thing, the fourth thing, that I'm passing on to them is the gift of adversity. The gift of adversity, okay. So if you're in a place where you had a challenging child. I'm going to say challenging childhood. I'm just like things are better now, right, Like the things we needed to do then that people don't need to do now. All of those things, the more successful you become.

Speaker 1:

There's this tendency okay, if you're not on top of it. There's this tendency to say, oh, I don't want my children to go through what I went through and you make life so easy for them and they don't have opportunities to fail and all of these things. If you put your child in that position, well, let me speak for my child. Okay, I don't want to judge anybody's parenting. I'm just here really to share what I'm doing and it's a buffet. You can pick what you think will work for your family.

Speaker 1:

But for me, if I do that, but for me if I do that, I understand that I'm setting my kids up to be failures, like literally. Why is that? Because they're going to have failed projects. They're going to have so many things that will not go according to plan. They're going to have so many challenges in this life. How do I know that? Everybody has that. They're not going to be the first four people in this universe to have no challenges and not fail at anything, have no challenges and not fail at anything. And so if I can't train them on how to handle adversity, they're not going to be able to survive adversity.

Speaker 1:

There was a year my kids at this point were not swimming well or anything like that. I was like, oh my goodness, I need to put these kids in competitive swimming. And the only reason I wanted to put them in competitive swimming because I wanted them to go and lose. I want them to go for a game and lose there and they're like they're all crying and they're all distraught and then we can talk about well, this is how we respond to failure. This is what we do. This is how we process it. This is how we bounce back. This is not a class they can get in theory. They're going to need to be in the lab. They're going to need the practical stuff.

Speaker 1:

So you give them the gift of adversity. Right, that means they're on the verge of making a mistake and something and it's not something that's going to damage their life or whatever. Allow them make it. Allow them fall on their faces sometimes. Allow them make it. Allow them fall on their faces sometimes, right, and then show them how to get up. I give them the gift of adversity. I give them the gift of that. I put them in challenging situations, I put them on stages, I put them in leadership positions so they can feel the pain of it.

Speaker 1:

I'm not saying this as a I'm not some sadist or whatever. But if we can't equip our kids again, I'm not judging anybody's parenting. If I cannot equip my kids to bounce back from challenges, if I don't like, I understand. I didn't understand it when I was younger. I understand that failure is part of progress. I understand that if you are going to learn to walk, you are going to fall. There's no way around that. So I don't get thrown off so much when I try to do something that doesn't work. But there are people who they tried to do something 10 years ago and it didn't work and they're still celebrating. They're celebrating the 10th year anniversary of something that didn't work. They didn't move forward, they didn't do any of those things. I don't want them to have. I don't want them to have. I don't want them to be that. I want them to know this is part of it. I want them to have done the reps like, had so many failed projects and practiced balancing back from it that they're good now, like when stuff happens. They're like it's part of progress, it's part of succeeding.

Speaker 1:

The gift of adversity, the gift of adversity, the gift of adversity Okay. And then the fifth thing. The fifth thing I'm giving my kids is and I've alluded to this a little bit is the gift of networks. Okay, guys, your network is your net worth. Okay, your kid's net worth will be their net worth. Now, you've already built all these relationships with people, maybe people who are doing businesses much bigger than you, people whose families you've loved and you learned from them, people who understand how to multiply wealth, all these kinds of things.

Speaker 1:

You can introduce your kids in the mix, right. And these become their networks too, right. And so I introduce my kids to all kinds of people, I connect them to all kinds of people, and I do it intentionally, and when I do it, I train them on how to do that and how to maintain those relationships and how to keep the reciprocity bank full and all of that stuff. Why Do you know their people? The only reason they're successful is because of their network. The only reason that is how powerful that one asset is right. And so I'm giving them that, okay, so what am I giving them? My victory stories, my mindsets, my skills, the gift of adversity and my networks. Right, there are so many doors, for instance, for my daughter, for my daughter Cheta. There's so many doors that right now can open for her with one text message from her to somebody in her network, because she's building it right Now.

Speaker 1:

Imagine having those five things and depositing, installing those five things in my kids, giving them the gift of those five things and then giving them wealth. They have the adversity to handle, whatever comes with it. They have the skill that they can use to create more or to multiply it. They have the mindset that won't let them get thrown off by that. They have the stories, so they have this feeling of this is a legacy, this is something entrusted to me, this is somebody's whole journey, like the fruit of someone's whole journey that was transferred to me. And then now it's my responsibility, if you will, or my opportunity, or my privilege, to take this to the next level. It's not a pressure thing, it's an opportunity thing, it's a gift, it's a privilege, but anyway, that's what I'm doing with my kids, that's what I'm giving to them, installing in them, and someday there'll be some wealth transfer, but this is what they get for now. And in my mind, this is more valuable because guess what, if they didn't get any wealth, they could create it. They have the stories that normalize it and let them know it's possible. They have the mindset, they have the skills, they have the net worth and they can handle adversity. They can create it. Even if they got nothing, they could create it right. So that's what I'm doing.

Speaker 1:

So for you, I want to invite you. I talked about your evolution. For you, I want to invite you. I talked about your evolution. I want to invite you to then see that your evolution sets the stage for you to have the best assets to give your kids. Okay, and you know, entremd, we're all about helping doctors become the kinds of entrepreneurs that can build profitable businesses. Have their time back, have their freedom back. Six figures, seven figures, multiple seven figures, eight figures, whatever number it is that you want. And if you're like now that you've put it this way, I realize that when I work on myself, I'm creating generational wealth, because that's what you're doing. That's what you're doing, in fact, in the Ontario Business School. We have a name for the kids of the doctors in the Ontario Business School. They're called EBS Junior because the things the parents are learning is showing up in their kids. Their kids have launched big businesses, they've launched podcasts, they negotiate like bosses, they work in the parents' business all kinds of fun stuff happening. And this is not anything formal, this is just based on the parent's evolution.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and so if you're like man, I want to take my evolution a little more seriously than I've taken it. You know, book a call with my team and they'll kind of walk you through. We have many ways of supporting doctors and they'll kind of walk you through what might be the best next step for you. And so, entremdcom, forward slash call, that's EE-M-D, entremdcom, forward slash call and my team will be really happy to talk with you. But I want to challenge you to prioritize your evolution and your development. I want you to start seeing those things right, your stories. So you want to acquire more stories. Right your stories, your mindset, your skill, your network and the gift of adversity as assets. Like the same way you'll see a property, like, oh, I'm going to hand them this portfolio of five buildings. The same way you see that is the same way you see these assets and you're like, I'm going to transfer these to my kids. Okay, I want you to prioritize that.

Speaker 1:

Docs, listen, we're a new breed of docs. We are doctors who are building businesses that are thriving, building them in sustainable ways. So we have time freedom and we have financial freedom and we're the people who don't let all of this amazingness stop with us. We're able to transfer it to the next generation. So I'm so honored that I get to do this with you. Please share this episode with every doctor in your world and tell them oh, my goodness, I found the secret right. Share it with them. Let them listen to them. Listen to it and let's do this. And let's not just become people who become phenomenal entrepreneurs and all of those things, but let's become people who do that and leave our family powerful legacies. Okay, all right, rooting for every single one of you. I'll see you on the next episode. Go, book that call with my team Entremdicom forward slash call. I'll see you on the next episode of the Entremdi podcast.